Question:

Ok ... so I go to this church that is supposed to be all old-fashioned and everything. The preacher always preaches against contemporary music and that kind of stuff. So whatever. Should a woman lead a choir? should a woman lead a youth choir? should a woman preach? should a woman teach a class of teen guys and girls? when is it ok for a woman to teach? To preach? to lead choirs?

Answer:

That is a great set of questions! Of course, the Bible has the answer!

It seems that more and more churches are compromising on simple Bible truths such as this.

1Ti 2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. (12) But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

1Co 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.

So, the Bible is clear. A woman is to learn in silence in the church. She is not to teach a man and she is not to usurp, or take the authority away from a man. So, how do we define a man? A boy physically becomes a man somewhere between eleven and thirteen. In the Hebrew tradition, a boy is declared to be a man at the age of thirteen. So, to be safe, a woman should not teach any boy over the age of ten.

Likewise, a woman should not lead a choir where there are choir members who are young men (see above) and she certainly should not be preaching.
Too many of our churches, even our conservative churches, are losing sight of the fundamentals. This may not be one of the foundational doctrines of the faith, but it is important. This is a “thus saith the Lord” precept that a church simply cannot ignore and expect to be blessed. God does not want women leading or teaching men.
For a church to allow such a thing to go on is a crying shame. It marks this church as far from old-fashioned and Bible-believing. In fact, I would go so far as to propose that this may be blasphemous. Consider this passage:

Tit 2:3-5 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; (4) That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, (5) To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

It is impossible for a woman who is standing in front of a choir, a class or a congregation to be discreet! The passage above is telling the older women to teach the younger women to be all these things so that the Word of God will not be blasphemed. Is God saying that a women who is not discreet is blasphemous? God certainly puts a strong emphasis on the confusing of the genders. This is definitely a woman doing what God intended a man to do.

This question came in through Teens-4-Christ: I was wondering if the Bible says anything about a Christian being a cheerleader in a public school.

That’s a great question.  There are many issues we face in our daily walk that are not directly addressed in the Word of God.  When we face these issues, how do we determine what is the appropriate, Godly, choice?  Cheerleading is one of those issues that is not directly addressed in the Bible.  In other words, the Bible does not clearly come out and say, “Thou shalt not be a cheerleader, nor allow your child to be a part of a cheerleading team.”  However, there are some clear principles in the Word of God we can use to determine if cheerleading is an appropriate activity. 

We will look at a number of passages from the Word of God which apply to cheerleading.  For the purpose of this article, we will use 1 Tim 2:9-11 as the primary passage to determine the Christian’s attitude toward cheerleading. 

1Tim 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; (10) But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. (11) Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

 The key issue with cheerleaders is modesty.  This passage is telling the ladies they should adorn themselves in modest apparel.  Many people look at this passage and use it to describe the clothing a lady should wear.  Yes, a lady will dress in a way which does not attract attention to her body.  Clothing is not the primary principle we need to glean from this passage (though we will deal with that in a moment).  Being adorned in modesty is far more than the clothes you wear.  An immodest woman is using her clothing as well as her attitude and actions to scream “look at me.”  This is what cheerleading has become.  It is impossible to have a modest attitude and be a cheerleader.   Second, we must consider the clothing of the cheerleader.  Yes, it is possible for a cheerleader to be completely covered.  There are cheerleaders in Christian schools who wear culottes.  Even in culottes, if a cheerleader is jumping and tumbling, she will still reveal her body.   This issue is magnified in the public school cheerleader.  The clothing of the public school cheerleader has the sole purpose of revealing as much of her body as possible.  When a woman uses her body as a tool to attract men, she is no better than a harlot.

Third, with the modern cheerleaders, “cheering” is more about moving the body and dancing than anything else.  The cheerleader is seeking to draw attention to herself.  Again, this comes back to an issue of modesty and chastity.  A young lady who has a desire in her heart to please the Lord will not put her body on exhibition for multitudes to watch.  The difference between a cheerleader on the side of the field and a stripper is on stage only a small amount of cloth.    This issue of modesty is compounded by the use of the world’s music in the dance. Worldly music encourages sensual dance but also encourages many other ungodly activities. 

Fourth, there is the attitude of the cheerleader.  When a girl becomes a cheerleader, she almost always becomes very vain and very proud in her attitude.  She is proud of her accomplishment of becoming a part of the elite.  Yes, we all know the cheerleader squad is viewed to be the elite group of girls in the school.  They are viewed to be the most socially acceptable; their position on the social ladder is one to be desired by some.  When a girl is awarded a position on a cheerleader squad, she is given a trophy of accomplishment.  She has attained that social position.   Along with the attitude, there are other social expectations.  The cheerleader is a part of the elite and she must act the part.  In all likelihood, she will attend all the parties. Even if she does not act like the typical cheerleader, many will assume she does. We are commanded to “…abstain from all appearances of evil.”  (1 Thes 5:22).  If someone thinks she is a part of these other activities, she is guilty.

Because the cheerleader is a part of a close-knit team, her closest friends are likely fellow cheerleaders.  Should we be best friends with people who are unsaved? NO. 

2Co 6:14-18 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (15) And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? (16) And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. (17) Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, (18) And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

The believer should not have close relationships with unbelievers.  The Word of God is quite clear about this.  Aside from the command not to yoke-up with unbelievers, God continues by instructing us, saying: “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.”  God is making a clear contrast.  If you want to be considered one of HIS children, if you want to consider HIM as your father, you MUST come out from the world and be separate from the world.  In other words, if you are walking in the world, God is saying that you are not his child.  This begs the question of whether God would allow one of His children to actually be a cheerleader. 

Finally, I believe cheerleading is a very sad commentary on any parent, and especially a father.  That father is allowing his daughter to put herself on display and violate the principles of modesty we discussed here.  The father who allows his daughter to be a cheerleader is allowing her to participate, openly, in sensuality.  That father needs to realize that he is the head of the home and that he is responsible for the protection of his children. 

What is even sadder is the father who allows his daughter to be a cheerleader, then looks upon her as a trophy.  Instead of teaching her that she is a prize for God, that she should preserve her body for her husband, he allows her to put her body on display for thousands. Jesus said that whoever should look on a woman and lust after her has committed adultery with her in his heart.  The father of a cheerleader is teaching his daughter that it is okay to be an object for men to look at.

All this is to answer your question.  When we look for an answer, the Bible is clear.  There is always an answer for the questions of life.  We need only look for them.  In this case, the Bible is clearly against young ladies being cheerleaders.  In my opinion, the pastor who allows this in his church and the father who permits it in his home are both in serious danger of judgment from the Lord.

Did Jesus literally mean we should hate our family to follow Him?

Lu 14:25-26 ¶ And there went great multitudes with him: and he turned, and said unto them, (26) If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

When we look at Scripture, we must look at the Scripture literally.  However literally means that we look not only at the words of a single verse, but in the context of the surrounding passage and the context of the event.  Here, Jesus is speaking to those who are following Him, seeking to become a part of the small group of disciples.  At this point, the disciples had not all been persecuted, but the persecution was coming.  It would not be long before the apostles would all be martyred.  Jesus is not looking for people who will join up with Him for a season.  Rather, Jesus is looking for people who will be willing to stand with Him through whatever may come.  When Jesus spoke these words, He knew that the full force of persecution would come from the Roman Empire (and later, the Roman church).  He knew that those who associated with Him would be boiled, crucified, stoned or exiled.  Knowing this, Jesus did not want people to follow Him who were not willing to make such a sacrifice.  To show this point, Jesus gives a few other examples:

Lu 14:27 And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.

Did Jesus intend for everyone who followed Him to literally be crucified? Did the Lord expect every Christian for all time to end up being nailed to a cross?  No.  Each of us has a different cross to bear we all face different trials as a Christian.  These trials become our crosses.  These trials are the things that prove to the world we are Christians.  By overcoming these trials, as Christ overcame death and the grave, we show the world around us that Christ in us is more powerful than whatever the trial may be.  If we are not willing to face that trial, we cannot be called a Christian.

Lu 14:28-30 For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? (29) Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him, (30) Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish.

Again, Jesus is asking a leading question.  Here, He is asking who would start to build a building without figuring out how much it would cost.  Jesus adds that anyone who starts a building project without first figuring the cost may end up running out of money.  Jesus is saying that the project may end up costing more than expected and you may end up laying a foundation, and then running out of money and being mocked for the incomplete structure.

Lu 14:31-32 Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand? (32) Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and desireth conditions of peace.

Another example Jesus gives is a king who goes off to war.  The king expects to be able to win the war with ten thousand soldiers.  When he meets an enemy force of twenty thousand soldiers, and the king sends an ambassador seeking peace.  Again, it is a case where the king did not count the entire cost of going to war and he ended up in defeat. 

Lu 14:33 So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.

Jesus concludes this by comparing all of these to becoming a disciple by saying that one who wants to be a disciple, or in our day, a Christian, must be willing to sacrifice all that he has.  This does not mean that we need to burn everything we own and immediately turn against our family, but we must be willing to put Christ ahead of all these things and people.  For example, there are people in some parts of the world who, when they accept Christ as their Saviour, are disowned.  Their family forces them to choose between Christ and the family.  Obviously, Christ is the right answer. Even today, people in some countries are jailed, beaten, their homes destroyed, etc. if they announce that they are Christians.  Does this mean that they should not turn to Christ? No.  Does this mean that these new Christians should not share their faith in Christ?  Of course not.  Does it mean that they may be persecuted for what they believe?  Yes, it does.  As a Christian, persecution is a very real possibility.  Even in the United States, the land of Freedom, there is some slight persecution of Christians.   
In this passage, Jesus is making the point that following Him will be a sacrifice.  That anyone who chooses to follow Him must realize that there may a high cost for making this choice.

Though there may appear to be a high cost here on earth, there is a far higher cost for those who choose not to follow Christ.  Those who reject Christ face a penalty of eternity in hell, an eternity of separation from God as well as an eternity of perpetual burning. 

John 3:16-19 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (17) For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. (18) He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. (19) And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

In the passage above, verse 16 shows the love of God in that He was willing to die on the cross to pay for our sins.  The passage goes on to show us that salvation is a free choice.  That those who have not chosen a saving faith in Christ are already condemned.  No matter who you are, if you have not chosen to follow Christ, despite the consequences, you will face a greater consequence.  You are condemned to death and Hell.  However, by choosing to follow Christ, you can escape this penalty.  Yes, you may face persecution for a time here on earth, but that will be far better than an eternity of torment in Hell.

 

What happens if you do sin unintentionally? Doesn't that mean that we have to ask for forgiveness again?

I do not believe any sin is unintentional.  Every time a saved person sins, they have faced a decision of whether they will or will not sin.  In the face of that decision, they have chosen to sin.  Unfortunately, we have all become accustomed to sin, and the decision to sin has become an easy one.  Ultimately, as saved people, we have within us the ability to choose not to sin.  There is no temptation which we will face where we cannot choose not to sin.